Confessions of a pessimistic believer in Christ who still has trouble trusting God wholeheartedly at times...

I was thinking about this on the way home from work today and thought it was relevant enough to post. It's more like a confession and a question for my blog readers. I often get so worried about what the future holds for me and my family that I have trouble completely trusting in God for all things in my life...the big things, the small details, and everything in between the two. I was reading through my In Touch daily devotion by Charles Stanley the other day and I found myself so anxious to see what the future holds, that I kept peeking and reading days ahead of the current date just to see if the message contained some kind of hint as to the days and weeks ahead for me and my life. I realized that I do that A LOT! It's not uncommon for some of the daily devotions to contain some message or spiritual lesson that applies directly to my life on that given day. So, I find it all too tempting to try to "see" what may lie ahead in the form of what types of upcoming devotional lessons await me in the coming month. It's really like a barometer test for me...to see if there are nasty storms still up ahead or if there are peaceful, calm and blissful times ahead for me and my family? It seems that most of the devotions I've been reading lately always have to do with how to trust God in the storms of life, or relying on God to provide for you even in the darkest of times, etc. The bottom line is that I dread thinking that the week ahead may have messages all revolving around getting through some tough times in my life. When I skip the current day's lesson and read what's up ahead in the next few days, I get even more discouraged if it's not something that seems like good times ahead for me. I find myself not wanting to go back and read the devotional anymore until I start to see some lessons that deal more with the lighter side of things in my spiritual walk. That, my friends, is an utter lack of trust in the Lord if I've ever heard one! So, why after all these years of being a Christian do I still struggle with trusting God COMPLETELY for the things in my life? So what if there are more storms in the near future waiting for me? With God as my provider, my comforter and guiding me along the path He has already chosen for me, what's really to worry about...right?

Here's my question folks...does anyone else do things like that? I'm sure it's safe to say that at least some of you still have some trouble trusting God completely on every level, but then again, maybe that's not such an issue for so many others. If you struggle in a similar fashion in your daily walk with God, Iet me hear a bit about your experiences and feelings on the issue! Thanks, friends!

What's In A Name?

What's in a name? Well, my mother and I were at my late grandmother's condo yesterday sorting through her belongings, since my mom & her sister are getting ready to sell the condo to an interested buyer in the next few weeks. We came across this old trunk in one of the bedrooms and I started asking questions about my grandmother's mother and grandmother. As we were discussing things, she mentioned that my grandmother, Nanny, had left a very valuable textbook manuscript to my aunt as part of her will. I asked my mom what the book was about and she replied that it was about something "boring"...LOL! Although, she did know that it was an extremely valuable handwritten book. She went and located the book and brought it out to show me. It was entitled, "The Life of William Henry of Lancaster, Pennsylvania (1729-1786)", written by Francis Jordan, Jr. My mom wasn't sure how this book ended up in the family or how the last name of the author, Jordan, was connected to William Henry. My grandmother's maiden name was Jordan. As my mom carefully opened up this book, I was truly amazed at the handwriting of every single page! It was written in a brownish-colored ink in an extremely beautiful script...like something you would expect to see on a historic document such as The Declaration of Independence. There were even a few hand-drawn sketches of a steamboat boiler. Of course, without much technology back then, all books had to be written by hand. I was in awe of how perfect each sentence was written and how small the handwriting was, so that many sentences fit on each page. You can even see the small embossing/seal at the top corner of each page in the book just below.


Last night, I decided to do some more research to see if I could find out exactly who William Henry was and how my grandmother might be related to him. I was absolutely astonished at what I found out through Google! It turns out that William Henry is the great-great grandfather of Francis Jordan, Jr. (1843-1911). Who was William Henry? Apparently, he was the inventor of the steamboat and a military officer, among other things! He was a direct descendant of Patrick Henry, who is best known for the famous historical words, "Give Me Liberty, or Give Me Death". I felt like I was in the movie, "National Treasure", having found some long, lost, extremely valuable, historical artifact!



Francis Jordan, Jr. is the great, great (and possibly even more greats) grandfather of my late grandmother, Nancy Jordan! Mr. Jordan was a member and Vice-President of the American Philosophical Society in the 1800's and once a member of the Union Artillery Company. He was apparently an author of a series of books. His last literary work was the biography of his great, great-grandfather, William Henry. The book that my grandmother has passed on to our family is the first and only original manuscript of that book! I even found an online version of the actual type-written text of this book, word for word!

The penmanship is remarkable and makes you feel as if you are standing among a room full of our forefathers. I am just fascinated by the whole discovery and to think that it is actually a part of our lineage makes it that much more special to me!


The last several pages of this original manuscript contain a family tree of William Henry's descendants that once lived and that were still alive at the time this book was written, in 1860. I know that you can easily research your own family's ancestors online these days and create your family tree based on all kinds of information dating back many years. I just thought that this kind of research was too tedious and time-consuming, so I never really got involved in anything of that nature. But, this whole discovery makes me so intrigued now! I can't help but wonder how many others in this country have yet to discover their own family trees from years ago and have yet to put together the pieces of the giant puzzle that encompasses our nation's earliest years? So, I'd like to invite anyone reading this post to do some research of your own online and share with us what you may find out about your own family's heritage and lineage! I am sure that in one way or another we are all connected in some way, when you date things back to those early days of the 1700's and 1800's! Let me hear your stories, if you know any!!! You might be more surprised than you think at what you may find out!

These are a few of my favorite things...

I wanted to post some pics of some of my favorite things that we bought while on vacation in North Carolina recently. Since my sister-in-law is anxious to see, I am posting them now, instead of waiting a few more days...LOL!!



I found this vintage cup and saucer set in one of my favorite little country gift stores in Black Mountain, NC, called, "Ivy Corner". They had the entire set including the dishes, soup bowls, platter, sugar bowl & creamer, and more open stock pieces in this pattern. I love pink roses and one day wish to collect some nice complete china sets in patterns like this one. But, for now, I just started with two sets of the cup & saucer. I placed it on our kitchen dining room table as a centerpiece. I just LOVE the romantic look of it!

This is one of my favorites already, too! I found this antique candy dish downstairs in Ivy Corner. They have two stories...the bottom floor is filled with true antiques of almost everything you can imagine. Anyway, this pink candy dish is by Anchor Hocking and was made in the 1930's. I love pink depression glass and one day hope to collect a full set of pink glass dishware, too. For now, I thought this petite candy dish was just so cute and lovely and it is my first official piece to start my antique collection of pink glass.


I purchased this pink rose table runner to place on our kitchen table, as well. It goes with a set of placemats in the same fabric that I bought a couple of years ago from the same store. It also complements my pink rose antique cup & saucer set, which I love! This stuff is right up my alley!


OK, I found this adorable hand-made purse at the Sourwood Festival in Black Mountain while we were there. Once a year, the town hosts the festival full of all kinds of craft vendors! I have seen similar purses on eBay recently and one day hoped to buy one online, but this one was a steal at $20 and it's made with all the fabric patterns and colors I love...pink toile, brown & white gingham, and pink & brown polka dots! It's surprisingly filled with plenty of space inside and some side pockets, too. I also like the raggedy edge look where the seams are sewed along the outside.


OK, this funny wooden sign I found in a gift store in Chimney Rock, NC. I love all the country signs with cute sayings you can find in all the gift shops up there! This one made me laugh so much because we had such a huge pile of undone laundry sitting right outside our laundry room while we were on vacation. The saying, "Laundry Gathers Here" seems mighty appropriate, since we never seem to have all our laundry completely caught up anyway. Scott already hung it on the ceiling right in front of the laundry room door, as you can see in the picture. It looks like it's floating in mid-air.

Confessions of a Kindergarten Mom...Third Time Around

Well, this morning marks another milestone in our household. My youngest child started her first day of kindergarten. I'm sitting here at home not quite knowing what to do with myself. Usually, when my older two kids were off at school, I at least had Amanda home with me to keep me company. Except for the few days she would attend Pre-K herself. Now, all three of my little ones have stepped up to the big school, which means only one drop off and pick-up location for me this year! That's great news...but, on the other hand, I'm feeling a little blue today about the whole thing. This morning started out fine. I got myself up early enough to fix everyone some pancakes before getting ready for school. All backpacks, school supplies, and lunchboxes were ready to go. Then, as the kids were happily eating their pancakes, Chandler accidentally spilled orange juice all over Amanda's pretty skirt, which was freshly washed just for the occasion of her first day at school. The tears streaming down Amanda's face when she realized that the orange juice was more than just a mere spot on her skirt, but rather almost the entire side of it, just made my heart sink. She is such a girly-girl and loves to wear her skirts and jewelry, and even a touch of lipstick. I rinsed the skirt out and promptly put it into the dryer, hoping there would be enough time for it to dry before we had to head off to school. I think my little girl was braver and more prepared for the day mentally than myself. I offered to let her wait for her skirt to dry and hoped she would feel encouraged knowing that she could still wear her lovely outfit to school. But, she boldly yet calmly replied, "No. I will wear a different skirt." No more tears, no pouting, no look of dismay on her little angelic face. She was just ready to move on with her day! I am delighted that she didn't let a little mishap spoil her mindset for her big day. But, in my heart, I had just wanted everything to run smoothly this morning with no hiccups. I was secretly sad inside a little bit knowing that the substitute outfit she picked out wasn't what I had wanted for her to wear on her first day.

We made it off to school and as I corraled all three of them after getting out of the car at the school parking lot, hoping to take a picture of the three of them on this big day, I couldn't ignore that frown on my oldest daughter's face. You know, that rolling of the eyes kind of look where you're 9-year-old is already showing her independence by not wanting to be seen taking pictures with her younger siblings right outside the front of the school for all her schoolmates and their parents to see. That's when my heart sunk a little bit lower today. I know it may be kid stuff and somewhat normal, but it serves as another reminder that all my kiddies are indeed growing up. Thankfully, Amanda was all too happy and proud to pose and smile for the occasion. Little Chandler in the middle just rolls along with the agenda not making waves about anything. We stopped off at Amanda's class first and all was well. Then, it was upstairs to Chandler's 2nd grade classroom. We waited for a few minutes outside the class in the hallway, as the teacher was not letting the students in yet. All the while, big sister Sierra reminding me we needed to go to her classroom, too. This is too much for one mom to conquer alone. Delivering three kids to three different classrooms on two separate floors of the school within a 15-minute window of time. So, I kissed Chandler goodbye and followed Sierra off to her class. She strutted right in along with her new classmates and barely looked at me as I reminded her that her papers I had filled out for her teacher were in her backpack. Such a big 4th grader now doesn't need to be reminded of such things, I suppose. At least, that's what she wants me to believe. As I saw that my presence was no longer needed, I felt a little more sad. So, what does this mom decide to do next? Why, it was off to Chandler's classroom once again! He was still sitting in the hallway with his peers when I approached. Why wasn't their teacher letting them into the room yet? After all, the bell was going to ring in the next 5 minutes. Finally, the classroom door opened and I was able to help Chandler get settled.


Then, off to the "Boo Hoo" Breakfast for parents of kindergarteners. Though I did not cry, my soul inside was still a little sad just knowing that this was it. The last time I would send a kindergartener off to their very first day of school. I wish I could say that since this is the third time I have sent a kindergartener off to school on their first day, that it gets easier. But, honestly, it doesn't get any easier. If anything, it is more difficult because this is my last baby out of the nest. Now, for the finale of today's events, I have found out since picking the kids up from school that Orange County Public Schools will be closed for the day tomorrow due to the impending tropical storm. In a way, that's actually good news for this mom! It means I get an extra day of "summer" with my three kiddos before sending them back to school. Thank goodness for small blessings that come in disguises...LOL!!

We're Back...

Well, we are officially back from our vacation in the mountains! I was not ready to return, but all good things must come to an end I suppose. The kids start back at school this coming Monday, so our trip was a great break before another busy school year for everyone! Scott shared many more details on his own blog (Serotonin Drip) about the trip, so I won't reiterate the details, but I have included some of our more favorite pictures below. I'll be featuring some pictures of some of my most favorite things we bought on the trip in another day or so. I still need to take photos of the items I want to feature first. For now, just enjoy these pics below...

Randy and the kids enjoying a morning walk exploring the nearby woods and mountains.
Mom and the kids on their mountain exploration walk.
The girls modeling their matching tie-dye dresses we bought at the Sourwood Festival.

The kids being silly at a local park in Montreat, North Carolina (about 5 mins. from mom & Randy's home)! This is just down the road from where Billy Graham and his late wife, Ruth, live(d).
My favorite picture of the kids at the park!
Picture of a Lake Lure tourboat on Lake Lure, N.C. This is the same type of boat we went on that day as we toured Lake Lure. For your reference, this is also where the Chimney Rock monument is located.
A mountain home on Lake Lure (view from our own tour boat). Many famous movies have been filmed on this beautiful lake, such as Dirty Dancing (starring Jennifer Grey & Patrick Swayze) and Firestarter (Stephen King novel). The famous scene where Jennifer Gray & Patrick Swayze are practicing their dance & lift moves in the water was filmed on this lake in a location similar to this photo.

"Are We There Yet?"

Hi, folks! Just wanted to let you know that if you've clicked onto my blog, I am out of town this week on vacation! We'll be enjoying some slightly cooler weather in the mountains of North Carolina! I'll be sure to post pics when we return! ~Becky

Virtual Garage Sale- Baby Items!!

I am selling a couple of important must-haves for parents! I have two items that have been unused and stored in our garage for quite some time. It's time to do some spring/summer cleaning! If you or someone you know is in need of either of these items, please email me at becky@cfl.rr.com or give me a call! >>>(407) 207-2383<<< Both items come from a smoke-free home.



Graco Pack & Play with Bassinet & changing table attachments! >>> $35 <<<

~sage green in color
~comes w/handy storage compartment for all your baby toiletries which attaches to the side of the crib (can detach, as well)
~comes w/handy zip-up storage bag and has a handle for carrying
~changing table features a safety strap/buckle for infants while you change their diaper
~comes w/a pink & white gingham crib sheet (there are some brown spots on the mattress pad due to being stored over time in the heat of our garage)




Graco DuoGlider Double Stroller!! Sorry, this item has now already sold!! >>> $50 <<<

~nice denim-colored fabric with pattern on the seats
~both overhead canopies included which can detach if needed (in near perfect condition)
~great-sized storage compartment underneath for baby bags, other items
~folds up easily for storage and fits into virtually any trunk space
~handy parking brakes at the rear for keeping stroller parked in one place if needed
~both front & rear seats recline (rear one reclines completely if needed for baby to sleep)